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Bahut Kuch Ditta Eh Rabba Tu Mainu, Bass Ik Meharbani Hor Karde
Ja Tah Milaade Mainu Yaar Mere Naal, Nhi Tah Botal Whisky Di Mere Moohre Dharde
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Ek conductor ki shadi ho rahi thi, jab Dulhn phero ke waqt uske pas akar baithi to vo bola thoda pas ho k baith, ek sawari or baith sakti hai.
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Santa ne double simcard wala mobile khareeda to ek nai sim aur khareed lee.
Ghar jaakar Santa ne apne bete se kahaa – “Bete, maine nayaa simcard khareeda hai … apne mobile mein ye number save kar lo 99xxxxxxxx.”
Beta – “OK papa, kar liya … “
Santa – “Kis naam se save kiya beta ?”
Beta – “Papa No. 2 … !”
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Girlfriend – Agar tumne mujhe kiss karne kee koshish kee to mai shor machaa duungi !
Boyfriend – Par darling … yahaan to door-door tak tumhari aawaaz sunne wala koi nahi hai !
Girlfriend – Woh to mujhe bhi pataa hai par Formality to poori karni hee padegi naa !
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Galati hone par maafi maangne wale insaan ko …
Samajhdaar kahte hain …
par galati naa hone par bhi maafi maangne wale ko …
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Boyfriend kahte hain …
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Santa – Yaar koi aisa tareeka bata jisse mai 100 saal tak zinda rah sakuun ?
Banta – bahut aasaan hai … 3 din mein 1 baar khaana kha aur 3-4 shaadiyan kar le !
Santa - kya isse mai 100 tak zinda rahuunga ?
Banta - nahi … par isse tuu jaldi hi 100 saal ka dikhne lagega … !
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Boyfriend – “iss baar mai exam mein fail hona chaahata huun … “
Girlfriend – “Why ?”
Boyfriend – “isliye kyonki pitaaji ne kahaa hai ki agar mai first aaya to ve mujhe Engineering mein admission dilwaayenge, second aaya to Science mein, third aaya to Commerce mein aur agar fail ho gaya to tumhare saath meri shaadi karaa denge … !”
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Ek mantri ji Gaanv mein Sabha ko sambodhit karne jaa rahe the.
Gaanv ke pehle hi Unki Car ke neeche kutta aa gaya.
Kutta mar gaya aur saath hi Accident ke karan Car bhi kharab ho gayi.
Mantri ji ne driver ko gaanv walo ko madad ke liye bulane bheja!
Kareeb 2 ghante baad jab driver lauta, to uske gale mein dher saari malayein padi hui thi.
Mantri ji ne puchha: Tune aise kya kiya jo tera itna samman hua?
Driver bola:
Maine to sirf itna kaha tha ki..
Mantri ji ki car ka accident ho gaya hai� Kutta mar gaya!!
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Hey Employee,
Tum pichli late promotion ka paschatap mat karo
Tum Agli Promotion ki chinta bhi mat karo
Bus apni current posting se hi prassan raho
Tum Jab nahin the tab bhi ye office chal raha tha
Tum jab nahin hoge, tab bhi ye chalta rehega
Jo Desktop aaj tumhara hai, Kal kisi or ka tha; aur Parso kisi or ka hoga
Tum ise apna samajh kar magan ho rahe ho, Yahi tumhare samast dukho ka kaaran hai
Appraisal, incentive, promotion increment ye shabad apne man se nikal do
Phir tum is office ke ho
Aur ye office tumhara hai!!
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Raghupati raghav raja raam,
Jail ke andar Aasaram!
Sadhu ban ke aise kaam,
Kaidi ban ke karo Aaram!
Dekh liye apna anjaam,
Hue budhaape mein Badnaam!
Jhoote pakhandi ke naam,
Dekh ka hai yeh Paigaam!
Khud ko kehte the bhagwan,
Pakde gaye na Jhandu Balm!
-
Jo yeh post share kare, usko Jaadoo ki jhappi
Aur jo na kare use Aasaram baapu ki Pappi :
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Arz kiya hai..
LIC wale bhi ghajab dhaate hain'
wah wah'
LIC wale bhi ghajab dhaate hain'
Dusro ki biwiyo ke paas ghanto baithkar,
Unhe Unke pati ki maut ke faayde samjhate hain!
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WIFE – “suna hai swarg mein Pati-Patni ko saath nahi rahne dete … ?”
Husband – “Pagli … iseeliye to use SWARG kahte hain … !!!”
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Aj ki date mein koi larki agar ye status
bhi dalti ha na ki..
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"A for elephant"
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Toh is men bhi larkay aake comment karenge ..
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Yea right janu ..
right baby..mujhe bhi sikhao..!!
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Define "Harami"
A harami is someone who visits a medical store instead of an ice cream parlour when his girlfriend says…..
" I love strawberry flavour"
Define "Chutiya"
A chutiya is someone who visits an ice cream parlour instead of a medical store when his girlfriend says…..
" I love strawberry flavour"
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Real reason why whatsapp is valued at 19 billion dollars....
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Whatsapp cracked the biggest problem of humanity - " ladies baat bhi kar le aur awaaz bhi na ho "
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Wife: Btao Tmhe Main Kitni Achchi Lagti Hoon
Husband : Bahut Zyada
Wife : Phir Bhi Kitni
Husbnd : Itni Ki Dil Chahta Hai Tumhari Jaisi 1 Aur Le Aaun.
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Toilets are a great place to think,
No wonder they are called "Sochalayas".
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Joke time...
Wife Taaro Ko
Dekh Kar Boli:
'Wo Konsi
Cheez Hai,
Jo Tum
Roj Dekh
Sakte Ho,
Par Laa
Nahi Sakte..??
Husband::
Padosan.!!!
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Pati(patni se):- Hata lo..,apni chehre se ye julf ye
jaaneman
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Khuda kasam..,,agli bar khane me baal aaya to...
Sajni se gajni banane se muje koi nai rokegaa...
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Pati(patni se):- Hata lo..,apni chehre se ye julf ye
jaaneman
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Khuda kasam..,,agli bar khane me baal aaya to...
Sajni se gajni banane se muje koi nai rokegaa...
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Behind every successfull selfie.
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.there are 99 failed and deleted shots
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Biwi Market se Loti
Pati: "Mera Andaza yeh keh raha
Hai
Ki is Box Me Koi Khane Ki
Cheez
Hai..
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Patni: "Are wah mere Pati-
... Parmeshwar Aap Ne Bilkul
Sahi
Andaza Lagaya
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Is Me Mere Sandal Hai.
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"wife chahiye "
2 girls liked it and 140 men commented
"meri le jaa"
Guy wrote back "kameenon maang nahin raha... poochh raha hoon"
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Teacher : Pappu batao.. % ye sign tumne kaha dekha hai?
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Awesome ans by Pappu..
Jab ladkiya car me seat belt pahenti hai tab..
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Dedicated to all IT Infrastructure guys...
Hamari shakhsiyat ka andaza tum kya lagaoge galib....
Guzarte hai jo hum kabristan se to murde bhi uth ke pooch lete hai "why our application is running slow?"
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This One Is For The Indian Fans
On This Page..
Just Google "Kya Karu" Right
Away. And Thank Me Later
must try
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Husband wife both die in a car crash. Husband becomes bhoot. Wife becomes Dayan.
They both meet after some time.
Wife: Kitne changed lag rahe ho bhoot bankar.
Husband: pagli, Par tum bilkul nahi badli. Still the same
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Girl- kya tum mujhse pyar karte ho..?
AJ- haan
Girl- lekin tume to meri parwaah hi nahi
AJ- oye....pyar karne wale kisi ki parwaah nahi karte!
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Husband to Wife : Mein shaadi se pehle 20 auraton ke saath so chuka hoon.
Wife : Mujhe pata tha ki jab kundli mili hai to aadatein bhi zarur milti hogi!!!
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AJ : matlbi dost se bach kar raho.
DJ : magar matlbe dost ka pta kaise chalega.
AJ : simple,sare dosto ko msg karojo reply na de samjah lo wo hi matlbi hai.
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Saas (bahu se): Bhagwan ne tumhe 2-2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 pathhar nahi nikal sakti kya.
Bahu: Very funny! Bhagwan ne tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 pathhar bhi nahi chaba sakti ?
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AJ Radio lekar khet me potti karne gaya.
DJ:Aaj to maje se ki hogi?
AJ:Khak maje se ki, radio pe Jan-Gan-Man aa gaya. Khade khade kani padi.
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Boy 2 girl: Frndship karogi?
Girl: Mere gharwale allow nhi krte.
Boy: haan, jaise mere garwalo ne to mujhe ashiqi society mai membership dilwa rakhi hai na.
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Sardar galti se samndar me gir gaya...doobte doobte uske hath mai fish mili use pakad bahar feka or bola ja tu to apni jaan bachale.
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Apke SMS k intjar mai hmne pina suru kiya Itna piya itna piya k pite hi reh gaye Kya karu Bada pepsi hai khatam hi nhi hota.
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Machhr aur makhi ki ho gai shadi ,
ek raat me ho gai macchr ki brbadi,
bechare macchr ki kismat khot thi, sali makhi allout laga kr soti thi
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Free funny sms, most, hot & new of this month read, rank & share. Here are some very funny sms for countdown which one is most hot and which one is flop. Which one is most liked by users, readers and which one is disliked. We are also going to add Gujarati, Tamil, Telugu, Marathi, Bengali, Bhojpuri, Punjabi, ~S-M-S~ collection shortly full of fun, jokes and humor. Enjoy text messsage non stop comedy show.
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Hsina ko dekh kr arz kiya-
Teri hasi mai kya chamk hai
wah wah
teri hasi mai kya chamk hai,
wo muskura k boli
Are pagal mere tooth paste mai namak hai ..
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Teacher:children exams r coming soon so if u
have any doubt u can ask me..!
Sardar:
In which printing press d question paper is
printed ?
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Suraj:India k match harne pe apne 1000-1000 Rs. duub gaye
Ram:mere 2000 Rs dub gaye
Suraj:kaise?
Ram:maine raat ko us match k recape pr bhi 1000 Rs lagaye the
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Mom-so ja varna Gabar aa jayega,
Boy- pehle 100 rupey do.
Mom- kyu?
Boy- varna mai papa ko bata dunga ki roj raat ko Gabar ata hai.
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1 sardar ko 1 machar preshaan kr raha tha.tang aa kr sardar bed k neche so gya tabhi wha 1 jugnu aa gaya.srdar bola kamene ab torch le kr dhund raha hai..
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Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has
been concerned with
right or left
instead of
right or wrong.
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Ek chor Sardar jee k mobile ko lekar bhar raha tha.
Sardar hasne laga
Banta : Wo tumhare mobile ko lekar bhag raha hai aur tum hans rahe ho.
Sardar : Bhagne do, charger to mere paas hai!.
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Teacher : Santa batao ‘M’ for kya hota hai?
Santa : Sir, Mother!
Teacher : Right! Aab batao W for kya hota hai?
Santa kuch sochne lagta hai
Teacher : Santa kya soch rahe ho?
Santa : Sir, mein yeh soch raha tha ki Maa ulti kaise ho gayi?
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Girl-to-Boy – Aaye bewafe tune sab kuch saaf kar diya,
mera dil jala kar rakh kar diya
Boy-to-Girl – Aye ladki, teri kurbani bekar nahi jayegi,
bhej de rakh mujhe, bartan manjne ke kaam aayegi.
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Hum Tere Bin Kahi Reh Nahi Pate
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Tum Nahi Aate To…
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Hum Koi Aur Patate.
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A Girl Checks Her Weight = 58kg .
Removes Sandal = 56.
Then Dupatta = 52
Now Coins Finished…….
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A Boy In A Q Behind Her
Said
Ü Carry On””,
I Have Coins!
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Height of PHYSICS
A conductor kicks n old man out of bus.
Police takes conductor 2 jail and gav him shock but he had no effect.
Y..
coz he ws a BAD CONDUCTOR.:-P
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What is difference between-
1. Boyfrend,
2. Lover,
3. Husband
4. EX boyfrend
.simple..yaar
1. prepaid,
2. postpaid,
3. Lifetime,
4. Coin box.!.
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