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एम्प्लोयी कर्मचारी : सर, मुझे १ दिन की छुट्टी चाहिए..
बॉस: थोड़ा सोचकर छुट्टी चाहिए तो मेरे एक प्रश्न का जवाब दो…
एम्प्लोयी: बिलकुल सर, पूछिये
बॉस : कट्टप्पा ने बाहुबली को क्यों मारा
एम्प्लोयी : शायद बाहुबली ने कट्टप्पा को छुट्टी की मंजूरी नहीं दी होगी इसलिए..
बॉस : एक महीने की छुट्टी लो और आराम करो
622 
GOLDEN WORDS:
Kal ka kaam aaj MAT karo,
Usko kal tak rakho.. Kya pata..
Us kaam ko.. karne ki jarurat hi na pade
278
Employee: Sir Shirt Mast lag rhi hai aap pr wink emoticon
Boss: Chhutti nahi milegi tumhe!
Employee: Sirf Shirt hi acchi hai, muh waisa hi hai kutte
264
Boss to worker: Tumne is saal
Mehnat se kam kai,
Islie 5000 ka Bonus
Cheque de raha Hu..
Agar isi Tara kam karogeto agle sal ispar sign kardunga
499
Boss To His Frnd: Kya Zamana Aaya
Hai, My Secretary Resigned Yesterday.
Frnd: Why.
Boss: She Caught Me Kissing My Wife.
397
Employee : I want Hike
Boss : Install It From Play Store
874
BOSS in office: Okay guys, today we are going to play a game.
When I say a name of the fruit, you run to the right side of the hal.
And when I say any color, you run to the left side of the hall.
One who runs on wrong side will not get the increment.
Got it?
Employees: Yes Boss, Got it.
Boss: Okay Ready, Set.
ORANGE.
Employees:??
723
एक आदमी: नेता जी हमारे इलाके में शमशान घाट नहीं है.
नेता: आप मुझे एक बार वोट डाल कर जिता दीजिये मैं आपके इलाके में जगह जगह शमशान घाट बनवा दूंगा.
281
I will never know what it feels like to work under a boss who is annoying, grumpy, irritating and always angry. But this is one work experience that I am glad not to have had all thanks to a boss like you.
295
Boss: Where's your File?
Men: At home.
Boss: What's it doing there?
Men: Having a better day than I am.
938
Babblu joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Babblu : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
906
बॉस – ये कैसी ड्रेस पहनी है ,
आधा जिस्म दिख रहा है ,,
लड़की – सर इतनी काम सैलरी में तो यही
छोटे कपडे आते हैं ,,
बॉस – मैनेजर , इसको 3 महीने तक सैलरी मत देना!!!!!
549
Bill gates never did Laxmi pooja but he is Richest man.
Einstein never did Sarswati pooja but hewas most Intelligent.
Belive in WORK Not in LUCK
361
Manage boss joke
New thought..
Maut aur Mohabbat to sirf naam se hi badnaam hai..
Varna, taqleef to sabse zyada
Naukri hi deti hai.
957
Boss: Hey Tina (His Secretary)
Are You Free Sunday Evening???
Tina: Yes Absoultely!!!
Boss: Good Then.....
Come Early To Office On Monaday Morning!!!
830
Employee: Sir, You are like a LION in the office.
What about in your home?
Boss: I am LION in my home too, but
Goddess Durga sits on the lion there.
939
Boss : Kahan gaye they Tum Office hour main
employee: Sir baal katwane
Boss : Office hour main
Employee : Sir bareh bhi toh office hour main
Boss : toh baal ghar main nai barehte kaya
Employee : Sir tabhi toh adhe katva kar aya hun ganja Toh nai hua
770
915
A power struggle with your boss is when she has the power and you have the struggle.
524
The main distinction between a boss and the Pope is the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
250
A power struggle with your boss is when she has the power and you have the struggle.
1
A Junior in office dialled his boss's extension by mistake & said:Hey, send a coffee in my cabin in 2 min
Boss Shouted: Do u know whom u r talking 2?
Jr : No!Boss: I'm the BOSS
Jr (in same tone): do u know whom u r talking to?
Boss: No!
Jr : THANK GOD (& disconnected)
2
My boss installed WhatsApp and texted me "Oye, Jokes bhej !!"
I replied "Sir, pehle ye batao mera increment kab hoga ??"
Boss replied : "Mast tha !! Aur bhej"
2
Rahul gandhi : mom,aapki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paa rahi.
Sonia gandhi : kyon beta ?
Rahul gandhi : har taraf to likha hai ki sonia ko bahumat (bahu mat ) do.
2
Chor ek aadmi se :- chupchaap apna sara paisa mere hawale kar do.
Aadmi :- Tum jante ho main kaun hoon ? main Ashif Ali Zardari hoon, Pakistan ka President .
Chor :- Accha , To fir hamare paise nikalo.
1
Ek zardari ko dekha to aisa laga
Jaise khana kharaab ,
Jaise total ajaab ,
Jaise aadi fakir ,
Jaise murda jameer ,
Jaise nasoor ho koi sadta hua,
Ek zardari ko dekha to aisa laga ,
Jaise bijli ke taar ,
Jaise dojakh ki aag ,
Jaise zahreela naag,
Jaise garmi ki dhoop….
1
2 ghante aate ki line main khada rehne ke baad ek aadmi gusse se chillaya,”main zardari ko goli marne jaa raha hoon.”
Kuch der baad wah aadmi wapas aaya aur phir line main khada ho gaya. kisi ne pucha,”kyon maar diya ?”
Us bande ne mayusi se jawab diya,” wahan par aur bhi lambi line lagi hui thi.”
1
Ek samaroh mai netaji bhashan de rahe the :-“Hamen khurak ki samasya ke hal ke liye jyada se jyada anaj ugana chahiye.”
Tabhi ek shararti uth kar khada ho gaya aur bola : – “Shrimaan ji, ghaas ugane ke bare mai aap ka kya vichar hai?”
Neta ji use bathne ka ishara karte hue bole :- “Pehle mai insano ki khurak ke baare mai bata lun, tumhari khurak ke baare mai baad main bataunga.”
1
Maalik ne naukar se kaha :- “Mai bazaar jaa raha hoo tum dukaan ka dhyan rakhna, Agar koi order de to use acche se poora karna.”
Kuch der ke baad maalik aaya to usne naukar se poocha :- “Koi order aaya?”
Naukar ne kaha :- “Ji haan,aaya tha, usne order diya ki dono haath upar karke kone mai khade ho jao.”
Maine order maan liya aur wah paise ki tijori uthakar chala gaya.
1
Teacher asks children, what do you wish to do in future?
Classroom
Pappu : I want to be a pilot.
Raj: I want to be a doctor.
Neha: I want to be a good mother.
Ravi : I want to help Neha.
1
Ek bhai saadi te bahut dara kare thaa. Ek bai gaam mein thanedar aaga us din us bhai ki bhans kise ki juwar kha gi. Ghana ulahana aa ya. To uske ghar wale bole, “Thanedar sahab isne dara ke ne saadi tahi tyar kara do yo saadi te bahut dare se.”
Thanedar ne us bhai ko dara dhamka ke bola, “Teri yehi saza hai ke tere ko saadi karni padegi.”
Bhai usne darte ne saadi ki haan kar li. Saadi mein jab dulhan ko uske paas laya gaya to wo bola, “E bebe teri bhans ne bhi kise ki juwar kha li thee ke?”
1