Sardar (Police station ja kar kahta h):- Mujhe phone par jaan se marne ki dhamki mil rhi h.
Inspector:- Koun de rha h.
Sardar:- BSNL wale, kehte h bill nahi bhara to kaat denge.

Sardar ne evrest pe dekha waha pe 1 baba gutka ragad raha tha.
Sardar:- Baba ye kya h.
Baba:- Masala.
Sardar:- Oh to Evrest masala aap hi banate ho.

1 Bar sardar Rs. jama karne gya.
Officer:- Ye note fata hua h, dusra do.
Sardar:- Main apne A/c me jama kar rha hu, fata karu ya naya, Tujhe kya matlab h be.

Sardar ke truck pe likha tha
"Chhotta Parivar, Sukhi Parivar"
msg. from "Rinku, Golu, Monu,
Ramu, Shamu, Sohan, Mohan, Tilu, Pinky de papa di gaddi".

Sardar ki beti:- Papa kal aapke ghar se 1 member kam ho jaega.
Next day sardar ki beti bhag jati h.
Sardar:- Ladki ne kaam to galat kiya per thi wo jyotish.

Sardar ne 1 number dial kiya 1
ladki ne received. Sardar:- Hello kaun.
Girl:- Main Seeta.
Sardar:- O yaar ye to ayodhya lag gaya. Sorry Maate.

Sardar office ja raha tha, Patni pyaar se boli:- See u in the evening.
Sardar gusse se:- Dhamki kise de rahi h, main bhi tujhe dekh loonga.

1 Sardar ke ghar chor aa gya.
Sardar ne dekha to chor bhaga sardar uske piche bhaga aur bhagte-2 chor se bhi aage nikal gya or bola:- 1 to chori uper se humse race.

Sardarni wrote a msg. to sardar:-
Ghar kab aa rahe ho. msg. karke batao.
Sardar sent msg. to her:- Nahi bata sakta msg. free nahi h.

Sardar math ke paper me dance kar raha tha.
Kisi ne pocha ye kya kar rahe ho..?
Sardar:- Yaar mere sir ne kaha tha ke her step ke no. hote h.

Sardar got an sms from his
Girlfriend written as "I Miss You".
Sardar ne apna dimag laga ke 2 ghante baad reply bheja "I Mr.You".

Girls at a wedding: Omg lehnga, jutiyan, mehndi, jewelry, saree, photos omg. ��

Guys at a wedding: Bhai koi bhi item rehna nahi chahie sab taste karna hai !

ALL Happy Husbands Behave Like Amir Khan In Ghajini -
Biwi Ki Sunte Hain,
Samajhte Hain,
Aur.
15 Minute Ke Baad Sab BhooL  Jaate Hain...

Its damn funny when a wife thinks she is punishing her husband by not talking to him for days. ������

Husband was throwing knives on wife's photo.

All were missing the target!

Suddenly he received a call from her "hi, what r u doing?"

His honest reply,

 "MISSING u!"

Earlier people used to remove their hats to give respect

and
our new generation
...
.
.
removes
head phones
to give respect!

Three guys proposed a Girl

First Guy : I can die for you.
Girl : Everyone says that.��

Second Guy : I can bring you a star from the sky.
Girl: Old dialogue.��

Third Guy : I can give you my Facebook password, switch off my BBM and deactivate my Whatsapp

Girl (tears in eyes) : Paagal ... Itna pyar karta hai mere se......
Rulayga kya...!!!!

Every problem comes with a solution. If it doesn't have any solution, it's a.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
woman

Jai Ho

Shayam bhaiya had a brainwave. "No problem! We will attack America, we will lose the war & it will take us over. Then we will become a State of USA & develop automatically. We will also become direct citizens of USA. No more Visas & Green Cards." All the Bhaiyas were happy with this solution but an old bhaiya was not. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy. The old bhaiya replied, "That's all very well.! But what would happen if by chance we won & took over America???

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children..��

A blind man joins them after a few minutes.

When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.��

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.

After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking sound of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him,
"Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy..����"
.
The blind man replies,
"If you would've put a RUBBER at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be in
the bus right now...��
so shut up!!