कस्टमर केयर वाले कहते हैं;
हिंदी के लिए 1 दबाएँ इंग्लिश के लिए 2 दबाएँ
साला ये तो हिंदी बोलने वाले के साथ नाइंसाफी है ?

पिंकी को इंग्लिश बोलने का बहुत शौक था
शादी की पहली रात उसे पता लगा कि उसके पति का सिर्फ एक ही पाँव है।
वापस माइके आकर अपनी माँ से बोली,
"माँ मेरे पति का सिर्फ एक फुट (Foot) है।
" जीतो हैरान होकर बोली,"बेटी तुझे और कितना बड़ा चाहिए?"?

निप्पल से टपक रहा पसीना;
निप्पल से टपक रहा पसीना;
भीगी हुई गांड और लथपथ सीना;
अब तुम्हीं बताओ 'ग़ालिब';
इतनी गर्मी में कोई कैसे ठोके हसीना??

Q. What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.

6 Feet girl to her boss: I am being sexually harassed.
Boss: how?
Girl: This guy comes in every morning and says ur hair smells great.
Boss: Whats da problem in dat?
Girl: He is 3 feet tall

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values.
Stu said I did not sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?
Leroy replied I am not sure, what was her maiden name?

2 men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
Na my wife is better.
2nd went in and came out n said
U R right ur wife is much better.

Ek kunwari ladki ki petme baccha aa gaya.
Uski baap : ye kiska hain?
Ladki : papa miss call to sab hi marta tha.
pata nahi kiska receive ho gaya.

Bakri Ki Jan Talwar Ke Niche,
Ladki Ki Jan Salwar Ke Niche,
Jo Chali Jaye Mat Bhago Uske Piche,
Pyar Karo Usi Se Jo Salwar Khole Khusi Se

Marij: Dr.sahib mera khada nahi hota.
Dr.: Ru married? NO
Dr.: Do u have girlfriend? NO
Dr.: Muth marte ho? NO
To BC khada karke dolu taangega kya

Sometimes There Are No Words to Describe
How We Feel About some people in this Life.
BUT
Thank God We Have a Middle Finger.

PAPA : vo kon si cheez hai jis k charoo taraf baal hotay hain
SON : papa may bataoo
PAPA :nahi tum chup rahoo
SON : may batata hoo ….. AANKH
PAPA : ohh haan
SON : to kya aap lun samajh rahay thay

HONEYMOON
H-hawas mita do
O-or chuso
N-nanga karke
E-ek hi jhatke mein
Y-yeh gaya
M-mar dala
O-or dalo
O-or tez
N-ni..k..a.. l…g..a. y..a

Kuch kasme kiye the, kuch vaade kiye the,
milenge har kidki darwaje ke peeche,
ae bewafa ek baar tu kah de mujhe Raja
teri choot ka main baja doonga bazaa...

Waqt nahi ab rone ka
Waqt hai baccha hone ka
tab kyoun nahi royin thi
jab chipak chipak key soi thi
jab kiya hai to bharo
tab kahti thi aur karo aur karo

Sham Diyo Se Sajaye Bethe
Hai,Khushbu Badan Pe Lagaye
Bethe Hai,Hamari Diwangi To Dekho
Yaro,Unko Rat Ko Aana Hai Aur
Hum Subah Se Hi Condom Lagaye
Baithe Hai. 

Boss was fucking a lady in his office, Santa walked in.

Santa: Wah Sir, akele akele!!! Humara number kab?

Boss: Agar March ka target pura nahi hua bhosdike to agala number tera hi hai 

23 yr old girl got pregnant.

Mother: (Angrily shouts) "Who was that pig? Call him".

30 min later, a Rolce Royce stops in front of their house.

A matured grey hair man in a very expensive suit steps out.

Man: "I am sorry for the problem. But I can't marry her. If a Girl is born,
I give 2 stores, a villa & 2 millions.

If a Boy is born, I'll give 2 factories & 5 millions.

But in case of Miscarriage, suggest what should I do?"

Mother: FUCK HER AGAIN!! 

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh..'
The husband, rejected, turns over.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?

Do ladies car driving seekh rahi thi
Unke pati:- Yaar meri biwi toh raat ko gear samjh kar hilati rahti hai
Dusra:- Meri biwi toh panty khol kar boli 200 ka daal do Tongue

MUST READ U WILL FALL DOWN LAUGHING

Jignesh “My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor.”?

His friend “Don’t be so desi. There’s computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10.00.”???

Jignesh figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store.
Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.

The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read?? You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks.

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, Jignesh began to wonder if this could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try.
He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.? The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights, and printed out the following analysis:???

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.?
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.?
3. Your daughter is getting’ screwed by three guys at the same time and has urinary infection. Put her on Antibiotic and keep a track of her outings.
4. Your wife is pregnant . . . twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. And Bastard, If you don’t stop masturbating, your elbow will never get better!

1st frnd to 2 Friend’
“Lay mithai kha!”
2nd Friend: Kis baat ki?
1st frnd:
Teri Bhabhi call centre me job karti hai,
aur usko Best “CALL GIRL” ka Award mila hay!

1. When I was born, I was given a choice – A big dick or a good memory. I don’t remember, what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: Nature’s way of saying ‘No hard feelings…’

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men – ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages of sex in a man’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Q: What’s an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing……

15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn’t

16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don’t have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, ‘ Don ‘t take your troubles to bed’, many men still sleep with their wives!!

18. Breasts are proof that men can focus on 2 things at a time.

Girlfriend chahe jitni bhi chalu ho,
Kabhi usse dosti mat todna,
Kyunki pani kitna bhi ganda ho jaye,
Aag bujhane k kam to aa hi jata hai.

Rule Of Boys
Phulo Ki Mahak Churayi Nahi Jati
.
.
.
Suraj Ki Kirne Chupayi Nahi Jati
.
.
.
Kitni B Beautiful Ho Apki bibi Par
.
.
.
.
Dusri ki bibio Se Nazar Hatai Nahi