Madam to boy- kaha hai copy kaha hai pen
boy- jabse tumhe dekha kya copy kya pen
Tere mast mast do nain
mere dil ka le gye chain
gayab hao copy aur kho gayi pen.
This Year's IPL 2015
Runners up - 10 crores
Winners - 15 crores
Yuvraj Singh - 16 crores
Ey toh pehle hi jeet gaya
Ek Ladka Khudkushi par speech de raha tha
Khudkushi Paap hai
Buzdili hai Pagalpan hai
khudkushi krne se behtar hai insan khud ko
Goli maarle.
Man at medical store:I need poison
Chemist: I can not sell you that
Man shows his marriage certificate
Chemist: Oh! sorry
I did not knew u had a prescription.
A Man To friend: Guess how manycoins I have in my pocket?
Friend:If I guess right u give me 1?
Man:Yes I will give both of them.
Tum haste raho, nachte raho, muskurate raho,
sada khil khilate raho, khush raho aur gungunate raho,
mera kya hai, log tumhe hi pagal samjhenge…
Wife looks in mirror and says to her husband:
I look horrible, fat, ugly
Plz say something nice about me
Husband: Your eyesight is perfect
Girl to Boy: Kya shaadi k baad bi
tum muje itna pyar karoge?
Boy: Kyon nahin?
Mein to diwana hoon shadi-shuda aurton ka.
What Is The Perfect Example Of Both Good And Bad Luck?
The Naughty Wind Blows The Girl Skirt High (Good luck)
But At The Same Time
Dust Falls Into The Boy Eyes (Bad luck)
Question By A Student
If A Single Teacher can not
Teach us all the subjects,
Then
How could you expect a single student
To learn all subjects ?
A Question Asked In A Talent Test
If U R Married To One Of The Twin Sisters,
How Would You Recognize Your Wife?
The Answer Came "Why Should I ?
isi k pass yo yo honey singh ka number hai kya!!
Wo kehta rehta tha,
Pass kara du, phone ghuma du..
Exams sar pe hai No. jaruri hain yaar.
Boys Ki SALARY aur Girl Ka PERIODS
Ek Jesi Hoti hai.
30din Me 1bar Aati Hai aur
5-6 Din Me Khatam Ho Jati He.
Late Aye To Tension aur Na Aaye To
Samjho Watt Lag Gayi.
Teacher : where were u born ?
Aman : Punjab…
Teacher : which part in
Punjab ?
Aman : ki which part ?
paagal di bachchi ! puri
body born in Punjab …:D
Girl : Aaj Meri Date Hai
Friends : oh! Babe Ache Se Tayiyaar Hoke Jana!
Boy : Aaj Date Hai Meri!!
Friends : Chalo Sab Ke Sab Paise Contribute Karo, Bhai Ki Pheli Date Hai Koi Kami Nahi Honi Chahiye
Girl father- Main Nahi chahta ki meri beti Apni puri zindgi 1 gadhe k sath guzare.
Boyfriend- Bus isiliye main use Yaha se le jane aya hun.
Man1 Sitting with dog.
Man2:Your dog bits?
Man1:No
Man2:sits and the dog bits!
Man2:angrily, you said he does not bit!
Man1:That is not my dog.
Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi usey to aap le gaye!
2 Ladkiya Bus me seat ke liye lad rahi thi..
Conductor: Kyun lad rahi ho? Jo umar mei badi ho wo baith jaye..
Bas fir kya.. Dono poore raste khadi hi rahi.
A nursery boy proposes a girl:
I Love U.
Girl Replies:
Ek thapad marungi khichke.
boy Replies
Mukka to jese tu khaygi nahi phir?
badhi aayi thapad marungi.
Boyfriend ki DuaFor His Girlfriend At time Of Wedding
Sasural mai sukhi rahena
Mayke aaye to contact main rahena aur milti rehna.
Baba ji ka mela laga hai haridwar mein.
Prashad mein Recharge Coupon diye jayenge.
Kisi aur ko mat batana.
Ye SMS sirf chuninda bhikhariyon ko bheje ja raha hai
Biwi ko din me karoge to wo sust rahegi,
Sham ko karoge to chust rahegi
Roj karoge to tandurast rahegi,
Karte rahoge to khush rahegi,
‘Office se Roj Sirf 1 Call’
Air Hostes to LALU-
Are You vegeterian or
nonvegeterIan?
LALU- I am indian
Air hostes- no, sir!
Are You shakahari or
masahari?
LALU- No I Am Bihari
Sir to Student:
“What is the full form of MATHS?”
student thinks hard & answers,
“Mentaly Affected Teachers Harming students” !
New style of love letter:
To,
The janeman
I LOVE YOU,
SUB- application for love.
Jaan, i beg to say that i am student of ur heart.
I am lonely. I cant live without u. So kindly grant my love.
Ur LOVE
Google maybe the most powerful search engine
But,it can’t search
the chappals u lost at the temple.
Ladkiyo ka real fact: pehle to ladke se kehti hai,
tum mujhe pasnd karte ho na..
Ladka: Nahi to..
Ladki: Me sab janti hu..
Ladka: Pata hai ek ladki mujhe acchi lagti hai..
Ladki: Wo main hi hu na such bolo..
Moral: Ladke kabhi purpose karte nai ladkiyan karwati hai..!!
Which is longest toilet in d world.
Ans: Indian Railway Track
U can use it frm kashmir 2 kanya-kumari.
Aaisi aazadi aur kahan.
Aajkal ke parents BUS me bachey ko bitha k ese Bye kartey hai.
Jaise
padhney nhi videsh Yatra bhej rahey ho..
Ek hum they jo roz laat ghunsey kha kar school jate the..
Only a Man understands another Man..
Customer- I want to buy a Ladies Watch
Shopkeeper- Sir, wife ke liye chahiye ya Branded dikhaun..
Hum Sirf Ye Soch Kar Apni Answer Sheet
Khaali Chhod Aate Hain Ke Kahi Teachers Ye Na Kah de
Dekho Aaj Ke Bacche Bado Ko Jawaab Dete Hain
Sanskar You Know..!!
Apple=Vitamin
Vitamins=Power
Power=Work
Work=Money
Money=Girl Friend
Girl Friend=Tension
Tension=Heart Attack
Heart Attack=Death
Lo ab khao
Apple.. ??
Salman Khans upcoming movies
Maine drive kiya
Maine drive kyun kiya
Drive kiya to darna kya
Drive kar ke phans gaya yaar
Driver tussi great ho
Ek tha driver.
Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what's your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.
One night a boy asked his girlfriend:
“Darling r u free tonight”
His girlfriend shouted & replied:
“Have I ever charged u before?”
Gud Ni8
Wats SWARG?
American Salary, British Home, Chinise Food & Indian Wife.
Wats NARK?
American Wife, Britis Food, Chinise Home & Indian sal
Couple date par tha,
Dad ne dekh liya!!
Dad ne call kya: beta kaha ho?
Beta: Paper dene aaya hu.
Dad: Zara dhyan se.. es paper ka result aaya to jaan se maar dunga.
Wife pointing at a couple next door says to her husband:
Look at him he kisses her all the time, can’t u do that?
Husband : I tried but she slapped me.
If Someone Says Bad Things About Us, We Feel Bad ….
If Someone Says Good Things About Us, We Feel Good …
The Question Is :Have We Given Our Remote Control To Others ?
Salman Khan’s new movie:
– Maine drive kiya
– Maine drive kyun kiya
– Drive kiya to darna kya
– Drive kar ke phans gaya yaar
– Driver tussi great ho
– Ek tha driver
Daughter: Mom aaj Ek ladke ne mere gal pe kiss kiya.
Mom: Tune usko chata mara ya nahi.
Daughter: Mujhe achanak Gandhiji yaad agaye
aur maine dusra gal agge kar diya.
Teacher- PYAR or ISHQ mein kya frk hai?
Stud – Sir Pyar wo hai jo aap apni beti se karte hai.
or ISHQ wo hai jo hum aapki beti se krtey hai