STORY
VIDEOS
NON VEG
Banta: Sante tera restaurant kaisa Chal raha hai?
Santa: Koi Khas nahi.
Banta: Vaise main do bar tere restaurant Aaya,
Par wahan pe tala laga hua tha.
Santa : Yaar tu lunch ya dinner ke time Aaya hoga.
Uss time humlog khana khane Ghar jate hai.
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Santa: Mery dada ne 1857 ke jang me dushman ki tange kaat di thi.
Banta: Gardaan q nhi kati?
Santa: Wo pehle he kati hui thi.
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Banta: Yeh chaku kyu ubal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye.
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zarurat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaye.
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Santa: Yaar Uth Bhukamp Aa Raha Hai, Saara Ghar Hil Raha Hai.
Banta: Soja Soja Ghar Girega To Makaan Maalik Ka, Hum To Kirayedar Hain.
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SANTA: Aaj kal zyada bachche judwa kyo paida hote h?
BANTA: Desh me itna terrorist attacks badh gaya h ke,
Bachche akele aane se darte hai yaar.
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Police: Oye, tune Papita Bechne wali ko kiss kyon kiya?
Santa: Sir, main bhi kya karta wo itni der se
Mere ghar ke bahar chilla rahi thi,
PAPPI TE LE LO,
PAPPI TE LE LO.
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SANTA: Lalaji dettol soap hai.
Lala: Ha.
santa: Acha vala hai.
Lala: Ha.
Santa: Achi quality ka hai.
Lala: Ha bhai ha.
Santa: Thik hai hath dhokr 1kg aata do.
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Santa: O yaar car ki speed itni kyon badha di?
Banta: O ki car ki break fail ho gayi hai,
Accident ho jaye iske pehle ghar pahunch jaate hain.
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Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho.
Santa: Yaar baap ban ne wala hu.
Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.
Santa: Lekin biwi ko nhi pata.
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Boss: Mere liye ak shisha lekar aao
Jisme main apna muh dekh sakun.
Santa: Nahi mila sir, Sab me mera
Hi muh dikh raha hai.
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Santa aur banta k bich mai fight ho rahi thi.
Banta: Saale mai tere kapde phaad k tujhe naanga kar doonga.
Santa: Dekh serious ladai mai romantic baat mat kar.
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Santa: Tumhaari Dukan Par Itni Mithai Rakhi Rehti Hai,
Kabhi Khaane Ka Mann Nahi Karta?
Banta: Mann Toh Bahut Karta Hai Par Papa Maarenge,
Isliye Chaatkar Rakh Deta hoon.
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SANTA: Aaj kal zyada bachche judwa kyo paida hote hai?
BANTA: Desh me itna AATANKWAAD badh gaya hai ke bachche akele aane se darte hai.
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Banta: Yaar ye SENT MESSAGE Kya hota he?
Santa: Ghochu,
Saale, Bevkuf, Tune Hi Srdaro Ka Nam Kharab Kia He.
Sent Message Matlab Khushbu Wala Message.
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Banta pair pey charha to upar baithey,
Santa ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Santa: Yeh to aam ka pair hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.
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SANTA: Maine apni beti ki shaadi sirf 1500rs mein kiya.
BANTA: Woh kaise?
SANTA: Maine use 1500 ka ek mobile dilaaya,
Usne love marriage karliy.
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SANTA Shirt utar ke balcony me tha.
Ek admi: Wah Santa ji.
Kya chest hai.
SANTA: Are ye to kuchh nahi,
Teri bhabhi ki dekhega to pagal ho jayega.
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Santa: Ek Kunwari Ladki Niche Khadi Hai Ko English me Kis Tarah kahoge?
Banta: Boss, Malum Nahi.
Santa: Are Bewakoof Itna bhi Nahi Jantey Miss Under Standing (Misunderstanding).
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Santa flight me pilot ka
Headphone cheen raha tha.
Pilot: Ye kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: Accha ji Ticket hum le
Aur Gaane tum suno.
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Teacher: Cow Hamari Mata hai.
School k bahar 1 Cow road pe ghum rhi thi
Santa: Sir Sir, Baahar Aapki Mummy Awara SAANDO k sath Ghoom Rahi hai.
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Boss: Mere liye ak shisha lekar aao jisme
main apna muh dekh sakun.
Santa: Nahi mila sir.
Sab me mera hi muh dikh raha hai.
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SANTA went to court.
JUDGE: Order Order.
SANTA: 1 Pizza, 2 Dosa, 3 Idli & 1 Cold drink.
JUDGE: Shut Up.
SANTA: No No 7 Up.
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Santa: Abe ye gaddaa khod ke mitti kaha dalu?
Banta: Abe itni bhi akal nahi hai tujhme?
Dusra gaddha khod aur usme daal de.
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Santa: Hamare Desh Ki Aausat Mrityu Dar Kya H?
Banta: 100%.
Santa: Kaise?
Banta: Jo Paida Hota H, Wo Mar Hi Jata H.
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Santa: Hipnotis kya hota hai?
Banta: Kisiko apne control mai kar ke apne marji ka kaam karwana.
Santa: Chal jhute use to shaadi kehte hai.
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Santa Kadi Chaawal Kha Raha Tha.
Khate Khate Ek MAKKHI khaane pe Baithne Lagi.
SANTA Use Udate Hue Bola: Chal Pagli, Ye Wo Nahi Hai Jo Tu Samajh Rahi Hai.
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Banta: Santa, Tere Ko Kisi Se Pyar Hua Hai?
Santa: Haan Yaar, Par Wo Maanti Hi Nahi.
Banta: Kya Kehti Hai?
Santa: Kehti Hai I Love you 2.
Pata Nahi Sala Yeh Doosra Kaun Hai.
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Santa: Yaar ye SENT MESSAGE Kya hota he?
Banta: Ghochu,Saale Bevkuf, Tune Hi Srdaro Ka Nam Kharab Kia He.
Sent Message Matlab Khushbu Wala Message.
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Santa Sharab Pikar
Sadhu Se Takra Gya
Sadhu Gusse Me- Aye Murkh
Me Tujhe SHRAAP Deta Hu
Santa-Rukiye Maharaj
Me Glas Leke Ata hu
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Santa :Sabse Bada challenge kya hai?
Banta :Answer sheet ko khaali chhod do aur last me likh Dena, Paas karke dikha
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1 banda bhahta howa aata hay,
Aur Santa se kehta hai,
Bhai jaldi jao tumharey ghar main,
Talaab ka pani ghus gaya hay.
Santa: Oye kion jhoot bolta hay,
Ghar ki chabi to meray paas hay.
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Santa: Ladki ko prapose karne ki sabse safe jagah konsi he?
Banta: Mandir.
Santa: Mandir kyu?
Banta: Qki waha ladkiyo k pairo me CHAPPAL nai hoti.
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Santa subah radio le kar potty karne gaya.
Banta: Aaj to maaje se potty ki hogi.
Santa: kya khaak maaje se ki hogi radio par jan gan man adhinayak jai hai aa raha tha sala khade khade karni padi.
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Santa: Mery dada ny 1857 ke jang main dushman ki tangain kaat di thin.
Banta: Gardanien q nai katin?
Santa: Wo pehly he kati hui thin.
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Ek Car Ki Nilaami Ho Rahi Thi.
1 Lakh, 2 Lakh, 3 Lakh.
Santa Shocked: Iss Khataare Mein Aisa Kya Hai? Jo Itne Rate Lagg Rahe Hai?
Seller: Iss Ke 10 Accident Hue Hai Har Baar Sirf Biwi Hi Marti Hai, Husband Bilkul Sahi Salamat Rahta Hai.
Santa Khush Hoke: 10 Lakhhhh.
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SANTA: Apka kutta to sher jaisa dikhta hai kya khilate ho ise?
BANTA: Abe wo sher hi hai saala PYAAR WYAAR k chakkar me kutte jaisa dikhne laga hai.
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Santa apni grlfrnd k saath 1st date pe : Ye meri pehli date hai darling agr koi galti ya kami reh jaye toh chhota bhai samajh k maaf kr dena.
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Sardar ko sapne me ek ladki ne chappal mari,
2 din tak sardar apne bank nahi gaya,
Qnki bank me likha tha.
Hum aapke sapne ko hakikat me badalte hain.
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Santa To Banta: Tumko Kisi Se Pyar Hua Hai?
Banta: Haa Yaar Par Vo Manti Hi Nahi,
Santa: Kyu Kya Kahti He?
Banta: Kahti Hai I Love U 2.
Pata Nahi Sala Ye Dusra Kon Hai.
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Santa: Muje zehar dena.
Banta Chemist: Pehle Dr. Se lekhwa k lao.
Santa: Apni shaadi ka card dikhata h.
Chemist: Bus kar bhai rulayega kya,badi bottle du ya chhoti.
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Santa: Shirt K Liye Kapda Dikhaiye.
Salesman: Plain Me Dikhau?
Santa: Nahi Helicopter Me Dikha Saale,
Sardar Dekha Ni Ki Mazak Shuru.
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Jyotish santa ka haath dekhkar bola,
Beta tum bahut padhoge.
Santa: Saale padh to mein 4 saal se raha hu,
Ye bata paas kab hounga?
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Santa: Kal meri shadi hai aur ladki walo ne kam log bulaye hai.
Banta To isme prob kya hai?
Santa: Pata nhi papa mujhe le jaynge ya nhi.
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Ek Ladki Ne Santa Banta Ko Aawaz Lagai.
Ladki: O Bhai Jaan Please Suniye Zara.
Santa: Oye Pehle Decide Kar Le Bhai Ya Jaan, Confuse Kyun Kar Rahi Hai.
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Santa banta new jokes ‚
Santa Banta Ko Thappad Mara.
Banta: Ye Tune Mazak Me Maara Ya Seriously.
Santa: Seriously.
Banta: Fir Thik Hai,Muze Mazak Bilkul Pasand Nahi.
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Santa Doctor Banta Ko Apne Naye Invention Ke Baare Mein Batata Hai.
Santa Doctor: Maine Aisi Cream Banayi Hai Jisko Lagane Se 40 Saal Ki Lady 20 Saal Ki Lagne Lagegi.
Banta: Yaar Phir To Khoob Bikta Hoga Na?
Santa Doctor: Arrey Nahi Re, Bikke To Tab Jab Koi Lady Apne Aap Ko 40 Ki Samjhe.
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Santa Apne Motaape Ki Wajah Se Tang Aa Kar Doctor Ke Paas Gaya.
Santa: Doctor Sahab Is Mote Pet Ka Kuch Karo.
Doctor: Iska To Sirf Ek Hi Ilaaj Hai.
Santa: Wo Kya Doctor Sahab?
Doctor: Tum Roz Sirf Do Hi Rotiyan Khaya Karo.
Santa: Hmm, Par Ye Do Rotiya Khaane Se Pehle Khani Hai Ya Baad Mein?
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बंता मैनेजर ने संता से पूछा: क्या तुम्हें पता नही कि आज्ञा के बिना अन्दर आना मना है।
संता: जनाब मैं आज्ञा लेने के लिए ही अन्दर आया हूं।
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संता एक बार बालों के साथ कंधों पर भी शैम्पू लगा रहा था.
बंता: अरे यह क्या कर रहे हो.
संता: अरे यह शैम्पू हैड एंड सोल्डर है दोनों पर लगाने के लिए.
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Dad Apne Bete Santa Ko Gaaliyan De Rahe The.
Dad: Kambakht Tune Aaj Tak Aisa Koi Kaam Nahi Kiya Jisse Mera Sir Uncha Hua Ho.
Santa With Awesome Reply: Dad Bhul Gaye Aapke Sir Ke Neeche Ek Baar Takiya Diya To Tha.
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