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संता ने सपना देखा कि किसी ने उसे मार दिया है।
अगले ही दिन उसने अपना बैंक एकांउट बंद करवा दिया क्योंकि बैंक का स्लोगन था वी मेक योर ड्रीम्स कम ट्रू.
45 
Thoda Confusion Hai, Par Baat Hai Lakh Rupaye Ki.
Daaman Kiska Thaama Jaye?
Jo Khushi De.
Ya Phir,
Jo Khushi Khushi De?
50
Ek Aadmi Ki Bike Puncture Ho Gayi Kisi Tarha Vo Usko Lekar Pass Ke Ek Service Station Mein Pahuncha.
Vaha Jake Pucture Lagane Wale Ladke Se Bola.
Aadmi: Bike Gaseet Gaseet Ke Gaand Fatt Gayi.
Ladke Ne Confuse Hoke Puchha: To Phir Pahle Puncture Kaha Lagau, Gaand Pe Ya Bike Mein.
52
Ek Bar Karo Na Plz Kisi,
Ko Pata Nahi Chalega Plz,
Karo Naaa Muje Acha Lage Ga,
Ek Bar Hamari Dosti Ki Khatr,
Kar Do Na Plz Ek Pyara Sa Sms.
40
A Girl went to repair umbrella.
Shopkeeper: BB ooper ka kapra otarna parega aur neechay danda dalna parega.
Larki Boli:jo marzi karo bus pani andar na aaye.
36
दुखी माँ बाबा से: बाबा जी मेरे 1000/- रुपये वापस करो।
बाबा: क्यों बालिके?
माँ: आप ने कहा था सब शनि का दोष है, इसलिए बेटा नहीं पढ़ता। मैंने शनिवार के व्रत रखे, तेल चढ़ाया, मेरे बेटे ने रात भर कंप्यूटर पे पढ़ाई की फिर भी फेल हो गया।
बाबा: बालिके मैंने तो कहा था कि सब "सनी" का दोष है।
47
Ek Aurat Ke Bacha Paida Hua.
Delivery Ke Baad Bache Ki Mutthi Band Thhi,
Jab Doctors Ne Mutthi Ko Khol Ke Dekha,
To Uske Ek Haath Mein IPill Ki Goli Thhi Aur Likha Hua Thha,
Jaako Rakhe Saiyaan Maar Sake Na Koye.
50
टीचर: अपने पिता जी का नाम बताओ इंग्लिश में।
स्टूडेंट: ब्यूटीफुल रेड अंडरवियर।
स्टूडेंट: सुंदर लाल चड्ढा।
55
Ladko Ko Ladkiyo Ke Khoob Bade Bade Pasand Hote Hai,
Khaskar Jab Vo Chalti Hai To Unke Hilte Hue To Bahut Hi Pyare Lagte Hai Kya?
Socho, Nahi Pata?
Un Ke Pyare Pyare Bade Bade Boobs,
Tum Baal Samajh Rahe Thhe Na Itne Sharif Kab Se Ho Gye Ho?
60
Aurat Aadmi Se: Main Tumhe Warning De Rahi Hun Ki Mere Husband Ek Ghante Mein Aa Jayenge.
Aadmi: Par Main To Kuch Bhi Nahi Kar Raha.
Aurat Boli: Tabi To Tumhe Warning De Rahi Hu Ki Jaldi Karo.
53
Ladki Jab 18 Saal Ki Ho Jati Hai To,
Wo Dene Ke Liye Taiyar Ho Jaati Hai?
Vote.
Kabhi Desh Ke Baare Mein Bhi Soch Liya Karo,
Hamesha Apne Bare Mein Hi Sochte Ho.
54
Sania Mirza back in India
Milk prices down by Rs 2.
Hasso matt kamino dono alag alag news hai.
47
Pakistani Ladkiyon Ke Boobs Bade Kyon Hote Hain?
Kyun Ki.
Wo Aate Jaate Har Ek Ko Kehti Hain,
Aa Daab Aa Daab.
37
Miss: Batao Bacho! Hansne Ka Opposite Word Kia Ho Ga?
Girl:SEX.
Miss Gusey Se: Kese?
Girl: Hansna Hota Hai,
Ha Ha Ha Ha.
Aur Sex Hota Hai,
aH aH aH aH.
52
Meri taref se apko 1 PuPPI.
Aapki saheli ko 1 PAPPI.
Saheli ki saheli ko 1 PuPPI.
Batau bhala kiun?
Aaj hi mere Doggy ne,
10 PuPPI ko janam de hai.
41
2 Chij Jisne Indian Young Generation Mein,
Josh Aur Utsaah Bhar Diya.
IPL Ne Ladko Mein,
Aur,
I PILL Ne Ladkiyon Mein.
39
Din main sota hai,
Raat ko jagta hai,
Din main leta rehta hai,
Raat ko khara rehta hai,
Its choukidar.
45
College Me Fees Bharne Ki Line Me Ek Ladki: Sir, Pahle Meri Le Lo.
Clerk: Thoda Ruko Abhi Leta Hu.
Ladki: Nahi Jaldi Le Lo Warna Period Shuru Ho Jayenge.
56
Girl to rikshawala: Q bhai jaye ga?
Riksha Wala : Zaroor Jaye ga,
Abhi abhi to Oil lga kar khara kia hai.
Girl: To phir Ghuma kar peechay le loo.
48
Girl: Bas Kro, Kisine Dekh Liya To,
Boy: Kuch Nahi Hoga Tum Bas
Sidhi Raho, Aur Pura Dikhao,
Thoda Aur Karne Do,
Agar Nahi Dikhaya to Mein,
Fail Ho Jauga.
54
Life Mein Kabhi Compromise Karna Pade To Do not Hesitate, Bcoz.
Jhukta Wahi Hai Jisme Jaan Hoti Hai.
Akad Hi To Murde Ki Pehchan Hoti Hai.
60
Never Dance Naked Because The Body Has Parts That Do Not Stop Moving,
When,
The Music Stops.
60
Diffrent b/w Govt. Hospital and Pvt. Hospital:
Govt. Hospital: Doctor Nurse par aur Patient Farsh par.
Pvt. Hospital: Patient Nurse par, Doctor Patient ke purse par.
59
Girl: Aj Mat Dalo.
Boy: Kyo?
Girl: Kal Tum Daal Ke So Gaye Bahut Dard Hua,
Me Puri Raat Maslti Rahi Or Pani Bhi Nikalta Raha Mujhe Lagata Hai Ye,
EYE DROPS Bekar Hai.
50
Aapne kabhi socha hai.
Mirch ankho ke alawa or kaha kaha lagti hai?
Sochiye.
Kheto mai lagti hai.
Padhe likhe gawaar hmesha bas ulta sochlo.
59
Good girls go to Heaven, bad girls just make you FEEL like you are in Heaven.
61
Aadmi ko Zindgi mein sirf 2 cheezein achhi milni chahiye: Khuraak,
Aur,
Suraakh.
41
To make it straight,
she pulls it.
2 make it stand,
she rubs it.
2 make it stiff,
she licks it.
2 let it IN,
she pushes it.
True, Threading a needle is not easy.
49
Ye Sookha Andar Jata Hai,
Aur,Gila Bahar Ata Hai,
Phele Chota Hota Hai,
Phir Ye Mota Ho Jata Hai,
Jab Ye Andar Rahta Hai,
To Ye Red Kar Deta Hai,
Kuch Aur Nahin Hai Ye Yaaro,
Isko Lipton Tea Bag Kehtey Hai.
51
Ladka: Dada Ji Aap Itni Thand Mein Apni Pant Utaar Kar Kyu Bethe Ho?
Dada: Kal Main Yaha Apni Kameej Utar Kar Betha Tha,
To Thand Se Meri Gardan Akad Gayi Thi Aj Teri Dadi Ne Kaha Hai Ki Pant Utar Kar Bethna.
54
1 Bus me 1 aunty khadi thi.
1 Bache ne kaha ki aap meri jagah beth jaao.
Aunti ne use thappad mar diya,
kyu?
kyu?
Kyu ki bacha apne PAPA ki god me
Betha hua tha.
55
Teri lita k lu?
Ya bitha k lu?
Andhere main lu ya bulb jala k lu?
Ya tujhe karun khara ?
Ya teri jhuka k lu?
Ab tu hi bata k main teri
Photo,
Kaise lu?
35
Hello hello mera lelo kya?
Salam.
Bolo bolo apni kholo kya?
Zuban.
Dekho apni khol k dekho kya?
Aankhien.
Kitna bara hai mera kya?
DIL.
42
A Girl went to repair umbrella.
Shopkeeper: BB uper ka kapra otarna parega aur neechay danda dalna parega.
Larki Boli: Jo marzi karo bus pani andar na aaye.
40
Doctor: Mrs. Taniya good news for you.
Girl: What do you mean Mrs. Taniya? Iam Miss Taniya.
Doctor: Oh Sorry Miss Taniya Bad news for you.
36
GIRL: Jaanu mere munh me daalo, main chusungi.
BOY: Nahi nahi tum kha gai toh main kya Karunga?
GIRL: To Tum,
Doosri Icecream Le Lena.
44
Ek Ladka aur ek Ladki ki shaadi hui..
Aap yakeen nahi karoge ke doosrey din hi
Unka Bachaa hua
khana kharab ho gaya..
Fridge me nahi rakha tha na !
36
1st Girl To Another:
Kal Sapne Main Mujhe Koi Chaqoo Maar Raha Tha.
2nd Girl:
Tu daar Mat,
Agar sapnay sach hotay To main rozana PREGNENT hoti.
43
Kya aapne kabhi munh me liya hy?
Wo mota sa,
Aas paas baal,
Naram naram,
Uper se cover.
Never?
Jhoot bolte ho?
Kabhi butta nahi khaya?
45
Girl: Kal rat to hadd he ho gayi, Uff 2 ghante meri to jaan he nikal gayi,
Saare kapre geele ho gaye,
Pehle to ek ghanta karte the,
Magar kal to poore 2 ghante tak bina ruke kiya,
Ye 2 Ghante ki Load Shedding to jaan he nikal leti hai.
58
Boy: Chalo day night match khelte hai.
Girl: Nahi, 3 din ke bad.
Boy: Why?
Girl: Pitch abhi gili hai, tum chaho to,
Wollyboll khel sakte ho.
59
Offo kya kerte ho,
Door hat jao,
Koi dekhega to kya Sochega?
Aqal nahi hai kya?
Uff abi nahi karona,
Akele me kar lena,
Naak saaf.
54
Couple date par tha, Dad ne dekh liya .
Dad ne call kya: beta kaha ho?
Beta: Paper dene aaya hu.
Dad: Zara dhyan se.. es paper ka result aaya to jaan se maar dunga
43
Ek To Chaandni Raat Thhi, Uper Se Woh Mere Saath Thhi,
Haathoon Mein They Hamare Haath , Aur Paeron Main Thhe Paer,
Main Zor Lagaye Ja Rha Tha, Woh Awaaz Nikale Ja Rahi Thhi,
Yaaro Galat Na Samjho Woh Meri Cycle Thhi.
37
Aap Ke Liye Ek Film Mein, Chhota Sa Role Hai.
Heroin Aap Ko Guffa Mein Le Jayegi Aur Goli Maar Degi.
Film Hai,
Guffa Mein Gaandu Ki Mout.
839
Dhritrastra Ne Gandhari Ko Ek Din Bade Pyar Se Bola.
Dhritrastra: Hey Gandhari, Tum Dhanya Ho Tumne Mujhe 100 Bachho Ka Pyar Diya.
Gandhari: Nath, Aap Agar Andhe Na Hote To Ye Kabhi Sambhav Na Tha.
59
Chodumal: Koun Kehta Hai Latakne Se Qad Lamba Hota Hai.
Santa: Agar Aisa Hota To Tattay Sab Se Lambe Hote.
45
Ek Ladki Ka Dusri Baar Balaatkaar Ho Gaya Rote Hue Usne Apni Maa Ko Bataya.
Maa Boli: Betu Maine Tujse Kha Bhi Tha Ke Aage Se Dhyaan Rakhna.
Beti Boli: Maa Maine Aage Se Pura Dhyaan Rakha Par Kya Karoo Usne Meri Piche Se Gaand Maar Li.
57
Preeto Bina Kapde Pahne Hi Mahmano Ko Halwa Parosne Aa Jati Hai,
Santa: Besharam, Tu Hosh Mein To Hai?
Preeto: Oji, Recipe Book Mein Likha Tha Serve Hot Without Any Dressing.
43
A couple sees a hot girl.
Wife: So big, aren’t they?
Husband: Yes.
Wife: Are they artificial?
Husband: I think natural.
Wife: Ear-rings & Natural?
Total Silence.
48