Syllabus- 80GB
We study- 80MB
Retains in mind- 80KB
Write in exam- 80Bytes
Result cums in binary digits
i.e.
00
01
10
11
Kya life hai hamari?
1 
Ek Important Msg:
Kabhi toot kar bikhro to mujhe yaad kar lena dost…
Ek welding waala meri pehchan ka hain
1
Student school mein gadha lekar aaya?
Teacher: Gadha kyu laye ho?
Stud: Apne kaha tha
Mene bade-2 gadho ko insan bnaya hai?
mene socha iski bhi life ban jaye.
1
Teacher: Tell me the names of all the planets..!!
Student: venus, earth, mars …
Teacher: aur bta
Stunt: bas badhiya.. tu bata
1
2 cockroach ICU mein ek dusre ke bagal mein admit the..
1st- Kisne maara?
2nd- Arey koi ni, ek ladki mujhe dekh ke itna chillayi ke heart attack aa gaya
1
Santa: Kaam wali shanti ko bulao!
Wife: Kyu?
Santa: Doctor ne kaha hai ki,
raat mein dawa khane ke baad shanti ke saath so jaana
1
Chuhe ko lagi bili gori gori,
Dono milne lge chori chori,
Chuha bola chlo khele aankh-micholi,
Billi Chuhe ko khake Boli ….
Janu sorry
I hate love story
1
Patni (santa se) pahle kyu nahi btaya ki…
tumhari pahli shadi rani se ho rakhi hai.
Santa: maine kha to tha ki…
shadi ke bad tumhai rani ki tarh rakunga
1
Teacher: Bachchon… kasam lo ki daru, cigrate or ladki se dur rahoge
Aur desh ke liye jaan bhi de doge.
Boys: De denge Jaan!
Saali aisi zindagi ka karenge bhi kya
2
Tiger & his baby resting under the tree.
Suddenly a deer passes very fast.
Baby asked
What was that?
Tiger smiled & said:
FAST FOOD
1
- New! SMS ShayariFunny SMS, New Funny SMS, Funny SMS 2015, Latest Funny SMS, Very Funny SMS, Best Funny SMS, Top Funny SMS, Funny Love SMS, Funny Friendship SMS, Funny Girls SMS, Hindi Funny SMS, Funny SMS in Hindi.
MBA passed student speech:
I would like to thank my parents for paying my admission fee
Then I wud like to thank my teachers for My attendance and their concentration on completing syllabus only Bcoz of which I turned to my masters-
The internet,
Google,
wikipedia,
Face Book,
you tube & special thanks to downloads and Copy Paste techniques
Due to which I passed my exams!
Have Sweet Day
1 train badi der baad chali
Muslim bola- YA ALI,
Hindu bola- JAI BJRANG BALI,
Punjabi bola- Kidhar ka ali kidhar ka bali,
Saalo train apni nahi pas wali chali.
Teacher: Pani mein rahne wale 5 jiv-jantu ke naam batao?
Boy: Mendak.
Tec: 4 aur batao.
Boy: Mendak ki mummy, mendak k papa, mendak ki behan & mendak ki item.
The most POISONOUS BREAK-UP ever…
A Boyfriend threw 6 Cricket Balls at his Girlfriend!
Girlfriend: What was that?
Boy: IT’S OVER
Only Love Can Remove your….
Misunderstandings
Worries
Doubts
Fear
Tears
and
Finally What You Wear!
Some Guys hold their Girlfriend’s hand in Malls
Bcoz
If they leave her hand.. She’ll go shopping,
It looks ROMANTIC but actually its ECONOMIC.
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
Aa
Aaa
Aaaa
AAaacchhii.
Sorry...
Mausam hi aisa hai..
Aap apna khyal rakhna.
99% girls failed to answer this Question..
now its ur turn..
?
?
?
?
Whats ur phone number!!!
I am too Positive..
to be Doubtful..!
I am too Optimistic..
to be Fearful..!
I am too Determinant..
to be Defeated..!
if u can…. then try to make me down.
1
99% girls failed to answer this Question..
now its ur turn..
Whats ur phone number!!!
1
Some Guys hold their Girlfriend’s hand in Malls
Bcoz
If they leave her hand.. She’ll go shopping,
It looks ROMANTIC but actually its ECONOMIC
1
Only Love Can Remove your….
Misunderstandings
Worries
Doubts
Fear
Tears
and
Finally What You Wear
1
The most POISONOUS BREAK-UP ever…
A Boyfriend threw 6 Cricket Balls at his Girlfriend!
Girlfriend: What was that?
Boy: IT’S OVER
1
Teacher: Pani mein rahne wale 5 jiv-jantu ke naam batao?
Boy: Mendak.
Tec: 4 aur batao.
Boy: Mendak ki mummy, mendak k papa, mendak ki behan & mendak ki item
1
1 train badi der baad chali
Muslim bola- YA ALI,
Hindu bola- JAI BJRANG BALI,
Punjabi bola- Kidhar ka ali kidhar ka bali,
Saalo train apni nahi pas wali chali.
1
2 chij jisne Indian Young Generation mein
JOSH aur UTSAAH bhar dia..
1. IPL ne ladko mein, aur
2. I Pill ne ladkiyon mein!
1
Patiala ki 2 chize famous hai
1st patiala peg
2nd patiala salwar
Dono me fark sirf itna hai
1 chadhne par maza deti hai
to doosri utarne par!!
1
Ek callgirl ka Janaza nikla to use dekh ek aadmi bola
Chalo achha hua akhir aapas mein dono mili to sahi.
Dusre ne pucha kaun dono?
Aadmi ne kaha USKI TANG
1
Height of batameezi:
Phone rings..
Tring… Tring…
Ladka: Hello chintu hai?
Girl: Nahi hai.
boy: Mujhe mauka do, ho jayega
1
Boy to a Girl-
Agar ek din k liye aapko LADKA banne ka wardan mil jaye,
to sabse pehle aap kya karogi
Girl: KHADE-KHADE MUTUNGi
1
Friends are like gas in the ass.
Some are loud,
some are silent,
some are thuuss,
some are phuss.
However they maybe,
they bring a lot of relief.
1
Pooja karo,
pooja ko mat karo,
Aarti utaro,
par aarti ki mat utaro,
Mala chadhao,
par mala ke uppar mat chadho,
Ummeed hai aaj se kameena pan chhod doge.
1
How to make 1 million Rupees in the Stock Market?
Ans: SIMPLE… Start with 2 Millions!
1
Dr to Ash’s baby in hospital
Dr.: who is ur grandpa?
Baby: Big B
Dr.: Who is ur Mom?
Baby: Miss World
Dr.: who is ur father?
Baby: No idea sir jee.
1
Pappu ki naukari chali gai..
Pappu roz boss ke ghar ke samne potti kar ata.
Boss: Ye kya harkat hai??
Pappu: Batana cahata hu ki BHUKHA nahi mar raha hu!!
1
Girl (wearing short clothes): am i looking Young??
Boy: open everything u will look like a NEW BORN BABY.
1
2 Dost salo baad mile.
Pata chala dono ki shadi ho gai hai.
Sonu: Kaisi hai teri biwi.
Monu: Swarg ki apsra hai,
Aur teri
Sonu: Meri to abhi jinda hai!!
1
Son came home drunk,
to avoid moms scolding he took a laptop and started working
Mom: Ru drunk?
Kid: No
Mom: Phir suitcase khol ke kya kar raha hai??
1
University exam mein WIFE per essay likhne ko kaha gya.
1 student ne sirf 1 hi sentence likha aur usey pure marks mile,
She has a Problem for every Solution.
1
Maine tere ko yaad kiya, abhi k abhi..
Aur mera Sms bhi aya, abhi ke abhi..
Mai tujhe yaad karu to tera Sms jarur aana chahiye, abhi ke abhi..
Kyuki kuch bhi karne ka lekin mera ego hurt nai karneka..
Aali re aali, aata tuji bari aali..
Agar tera mSg nai aya to…. Majhi Satke
1
Ek ladki ki shirt par car bani thi
Ek bachcha us shirt par bani car ko dekh raha tha
us ladki ne bacche se kaha ki kabhi car nahi dekhi kya
phir us bacche ne kaha car to dekhi hai
par ase speed breaker nahi DEKHE..!!
1
Ek ladki raste pe akeli jaa rahi thi.
Ek ladka bola-ghar tak lift chahiye kya?
Ladki- bhag saale, 3 din se lift le rahi hu,
Ab tak ghar nahi pahunchi..!!!
1
A Nice and True Slogan on the T-shirt of a MAN:
Do Not Disturb,
I am Married and Already Disturbed..!!
1
Saari raat guzar jaati hai
bas isi kashmakash main ke!!
Razai lambi
kidhar se hai aur choti kidhar se!!!
1
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
You can be sure of one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife.
1
1 gaon me Rahul Gandhi ko 1 bache ne kaha:
Sirji 14 mahino se yaha school me teacher nahi he.
Rahul- To school kaise chal raha he?
Bacha- Jaise desh chal raha hai!
1
Life is XXX
Yesterday is Xperience,
Today is Xperiment,
Tomorrow is Xpectation..
So, use ur Xperience in ur Xperiment to achieve ur Xpectation…!
1
Touching lines by an ex-boyfriend:
Aaj apni girlfriend ki shadi me jaa kar yeh ehsas hua ki,
Khana acha ho to mohabbat bhi feeki lagti hai..!!
1
Mene maa se pucha kab tak mere liye
es tarah raato ko jagti rahogi.
Maa ne kaha jab tak tu raaton mein
apni dusri maao se baat karna band nai kar deta.
1
A person who never smoked,
Never drunk,
No affairs,
No Girlfriend,
No flirting.
When he died.
LIC refused claim bcoz..
JO JIYA HI NAHI WO MARA KAISE?
1
Why do we say
“pyaar mein gir gaya”??
Bcoz if we say
“pyaar mein khada ho gaya”
toh double meaning ho jaega na..!!
1
BANTY- Tuje aisa kab laga ki,
Ab tuje bhagwan bhi nahi bacha sakta
BABLU- Jab loose motions ho aor PAIJME ka NADA na khule.
1
Don’t worry guys, everything is fine.
My phone was on vibration. Uski wajah se earthquake aa raha tha..!!
Settings changed now.
Sorry for the inconvenience caused.
From :- Rajnikant
Mind It!
1
Nursry Tcher to Boy:
Tumhe school mein sabse zyada maza kab aata hai?
Boy: Jab aap muje SUSU karane ke liye
Meri Nunu ko hath se bahar nikalti ho!!
1
Teacher: Tell me the names of all the planets..!!
Student: venus, earth, mars …
Teacher: aur bta
Stunt: bas badhiya.. tu bata!
1
Pooja karo,
pooja ko mat karo,
Aarti utaro,
par aarti ki mat utaro,
Mala chadhao,
par mala ke uppar mat chadho,
Ummeed hai aaj se kameena pan chhod doge.
2
Dr to Ash’s baby in hospital
Dr.: who is ur grandpa?
Baby: Big B
Dr.: Who is ur Mom?
Baby: Miss World
Dr.: who is ur father?
Baby: No idea sir jee.
1
Tiger & his baby resting under the tree.
Suddenly a deer passes very fast.
Baby asked
What was that?
Tiger smiled & said:
FAST FOOD
1